Foie Gras: Duckie Style
by shampoo147
Summary: Shampoo makes an alternate version of foie gras for Ranma . . . but where'd she get the duck? Warning: Character death.


Shampoo147: This is completely something that just came to the keyboard because I had an itch. It's not very good, and completely unedited.

Ayame: NOTICE: I know that foie gras is made iwth goose's liver, not duck, but I figured that Shampoo was a good enough chef that she could modify the recipe to fit for Mousse.

Shampoo147/Ayame: We own nothing.

* * *

Foie Gras

Ranma was in the living room with Akane, Genma, and Soun. The two adults were playing shogi and the two kids were watching silly cartoons on TV.

As all good things in Nerima, this rare moment of peace was rudely interrupted, in this case, with a BANG as Shampoo, holding a Cat Café delivery box, broke in crying, "Nihao!"

Soun and Genma easily ignored her and continued with their game, but Akane and Ranma jumped up. Akane was the first to be verbal, "Shampoo! What are you doing here?"

Shampoo placed the box on the floor and turned to Akane with the reply, "Shampoo make delicacy for husband." That said, she turned to the box and removed a small plate with very familiar squares . . .

"FOIE GRAS!" Ranma shouted as he stared at the French cuisine in shock. He hadn't had that since he was being trained to be Pioclett's wife . . .

At the words "foie gras" Soun and Genma lost all interest in their game and were groveling at Shampoo's feet. Their words were nonsense drivel, but Shampoo appeared to understand them well enough to hold the plate out of their reach, saying, "NO! This is food for Ranma!" her point made, she held the plate out to Ranma.

Ranma stared at her a while before crying, "Oh, thank you! I love these things! I didn't even know that you knew how to make French food!" halfway through his words, Ranma relieved Shampoo of her burden and stared at the French food in lust.

A moment later, Ranma paused before picking one up and handing it to Akane, who accepted it with a sweet smile that made his heart skip. He then picked up two more and gave one to both Soun and Genma. He hesitated, for there were only two left, and gave one to Shampoo and one for himself. They all gave Ranma a grateful smile and took their first bite.

A distinct _Oo la lah _was heard as they fell into bliss. Soun and Genma fell, back to back, into the corner, crying tears of ecstasy. Ranma lay down on the floor, completely relaxed and stretched himself out, nibbling on his square. Akane moaned in pleasure and lay down on Ranma's side, resting her head on his shoulder. Shampoo sighed and fell on top of Ranma, resting her head on his chest.

"Shampoo didn't know how to make goose delicacy, but she learned how; to please Husband." Shampoo sighed, but Ranma was the only one who heard her.

"So, what's the occasion?" Ranma asked, not really caring if she answered at all.

Shampoo didn't reply for a moment, but the moment of silence was destroyed with, "Shampoo finally get stupid Mousse to leave Husband and Shampoo alone."

Even in his moment of pure pleasure, Ranma frowned; he rather liked his sometimes friend.

Nabiki and Kasumi, the two elder Tendo girls, walked into the living room to a very strange sight, even by their standards. Their father and Mr. Saotome were back to back, in the corner with tears running down their faces, and Ranma was lying in the middle of the room, on the floor with Akane and Shampoo lying on top of him. After staring at them for a moment, Nabiki came up with a theory on what was happening. The most she could come up with was that Ranma had accepted Shampoo as a wife and Akane had decided to go with them, honoring Shampoo and uniting the schools.

She was, much to her frustration, confused when Ranma suddenly jumped up, allowing both Akane and Shampoo to fall to the floor. He was pale, really pale, as if he just saw someone murder a person he loved. The paleness lasted until his face took on a green tint, and he brought his hand up to his stomach, looking at Shampoo in horror.

Before anyone could say a thing, he fainted.

There was stiff silence at Dr. Tofu's office as the entire Nerima gang (the Tendo's, Genma, Shampoo, Cologne, they had picked up Ryouga halfway to the hospital, Kadochi, Kuno, and Happosai) waited for Dr. Tofu to come out and tell them what was wrong with Ranma.

As Genma stood, the doctor came and told them, "Ranma's in a state of shock, and he only wants to see Ryouga." Everyone stared in shock at the doctor (who had, thankfully, not noticed Kasumi there in the waiting room), for why would Ranma want to see _Ryouga, _not Akane, or his father?

Startled, Ryouga stood and was led to Ranma's room by the doctor while the rest were left to wait in the awkward silence.

Akane sniffed, why would Ranma want to see Ryouga over _her_? The stupid pervert. Thus assured that this was Ranma's fault, she began to plot on how to hit him without Dr. Tofu noticing.

Genma was stiff as he sat in the seat he himself had cleaned yesterday. It was nothing new that Ranma was in the hospital, this was the first time he was worried. Was there something in the food they ate? No, it tasted as good as ever, and besides, wouldn't they be feeling the effects too?

Shampoo was merely silent, her thoughts impenetrable.

The silence ended, as usual in Nerima, with someone running into the room screaming. Only this time, his scream seemed to be of shock.

"Ryouga, what's wrong? Did that pervert do something to you?" Akane cried in outrage, she shouldn't have let poor, sweet Ryouga in the same room as that perverted jerk.

Ryouga looked at her, shivering and cowering in the corner. Everyone was now completely, and utterly, worried. What could have caused Ryouga, one of the strongest fighters in Nerima, to shiver like a brow bowed victim?

Genma walked over and slapped Ryouga, the usual cure for hysterics. Ryouga didn't even seem to feel it.

The fighters in the Nerima gang beat up Ryouga for about five minutes before Cologne po-go'ed forward and pressed a few pressure points on the pig-boy to calm him down enough to talk.

Still shivering, Ryouga managed to get out, "R-R-R-Ran-ma h-huh-_hugged_ me!"

This, of course caused many to stare at him, sure it was unusual, but it shouldn't have had this kind of effect on Ryouga . . .

"H-he was c-cry-crying th-that he wouldn't leh-het me ou-out of his si-sight."

Everyone began to realize that this was mostly shock from such words from Ranma, who had never said anything with that effect, not even to Akane, or Ukyo. What would make the best and proud martial artist of the younger generation to say such words?

"He-he said that he wou-wouldn't let any-anyone ever e-e-_eat _me!"

There was silence as they all stared at the shivering Ryouga.

"Husband smarter than Shampoo thought."


End file.
